Ciarán Ryan notebook

She rode along the highwire

Below, in the canyon, the crowd began to roar

She’d built her bicycle

Out of frozen fishfingers

And now they were beginning to thaw

No personality of your own?

Buy a Pete Doherty hat!

Put it on immediately

And that will be that.

Dress rehearsal of King Lear as a western.

Also: Just keep going

Don’t sing

Pick a theme

Limericks that look like people you know and respect.

For whom the bell tolls

It was all going so well for ‘Someone Else’s Cat’ magazine.

Then came ‘Your Cat’.

Britain’s new best selling cat magazine.

“Your Cat?! Your Cat!?” they lament in weekly circulation meetings.

“Simple - yet such a clever title!

“Why didn’t we think of that?!”